Your hand is on the remote, no one else.
Life has a nasty habit of dropping misfortune in bursts. When it rains, it pours, as the saying goes. When you’re beset by setback after setback, it can be very easy to feel like you have no agency in your life, and let me tell you, that’s not a fun feeling to have. When you’re feeling like this, you need to remind yourself that it’s your life, your choice. You’re the protagonist of your story. Build up that self-confidence so that when misfortune comes knocking, you’re ready and waiting to punch it in the face.
Create a Routine
The best way to help you feel like you have agency in your life is to keep a schedule. It doesn’t have to be something super firm and regimented, mind you. Just remind yourself that certain things happen on certain days. It could be something to keep you busy like regular chores, or maybe it’s something fun like a new episode of your favorite show. As long as you’re the architect of your routine, you can tweak it freely. Keep your life orderly, but not so much so that it’s constraining.
Observe the World
When I say “observe the world,” I don’t just mean take a nature walk or travel somewhere. I mean, those are good, do them if you can, but there’s a little more to it than that. When you spend too much time in an unpleasant rut, the world can feel physically smaller, more stifling. But the world is huge, and you can remind yourself of that just by looking out the window. Watch the day go by; plants growing, animals frolicking. You’re one part of an incredible system.
Sometimes, you just need reality to shut up for a few minutes. The point of meditation isn’t just to sit and be quiet, it’s to empty your mind and truly exist in the moment. Let worldly concerns take a lap around the block, and exist in peace for a time. You’re healthy and you’re alive, and that’s something to be proud of.
All of these other tenets tie into one overarching theme: loving yourself. Not being narcissistic, but saying to yourself “I’m happy I’m here, I’m happy I’m me, I’m happy to be alive.” Let me ask you, when was the last time you audibly told yourself “I’m happy to be me?” Probably never, right? You should try it, because it feels pretty great.