Gaslighting is one of the most subtle yet damaging forms of emotional manipulation. It makes you doubt your memories, your feelings, and sometimes even your sanity. What makes it especially harmful is that it rarely starts big. Instead, it’s small phrases dropped into everyday conversations that slowly chip away at your confidence until you start questioning everything.
Here are five of the most common gaslighting phrases people use, along with the hidden message behind each one.
1. “You’re too sensitive”
This one instantly puts the blame on you. Instead of addressing your feelings, it dismisses them as an overreaction. Over time, hearing this repeatedly convinces you that your emotions are always wrong or exaggerated.
2. “You’re imagining things” or “You must have misremembered”
This tactic makes you second-guess your memory. By insisting you got it wrong, the manipulator plants the idea that your version of reality cannot be trusted. Once that seed is planted, you begin relying on them to define what’s true.
3. “It was just a joke”
Hurtful comments often get brushed off as humour. The problem is that the impact on you is real. By hiding behind the excuse of “just joking,” the manipulator avoids accountability while making you feel guilty for not laughing.
4. “Everyone thinks you’re…”
When someone claims that “everyone” agrees with them, it isolates you. It paints a picture where you’re the odd one out, which creates doubt and insecurity. The truth is, “everyone” rarely exists, it’s just a tactic to corner you.
5. “You’re just being paranoid” or “Why are you trying to confuse me?”
These phrases flip the blame back onto you. Suddenly, instead of addressing the issue, you’re defending yourself against accusations of being irrational or manipulative. It’s a clever way of making you look like the problem.
Why This Matters
Gaslighting is not just a communication issue—it’s a serious manipulation tactic designed to strip you of your self-trust. The more these phrases are repeated, the more you begin to question your judgment and rely on the manipulator for validation.
The first step to protecting yourself is awareness. Once you recognise these red-flag phrases, you can start setting boundaries and standing firm in your version of reality. You’re not imagining things, and you’re not too sensitive.
